EXCLUSIVE: Inside the Fat Cave

Team Slanderyou has obtained an exclusive picture of the resident of the Vexnews fat cave.

The resident wanted to remain anonymous. Our photo journalist was requested to photograph him/her/it wearing funny glasses and moustache so as to obscure their identity. Right click into a new window/tab to view the picture in full.

Patriots may wish to guess the identity of the resident.

The photograph reveals a horrifying medical experiment in progress. The fat cave resident is trying valiantly, it must be said, to become the fastest person on the planet.

Team Slanderyou is taking a sabbatical through November, and will return in early December. TS may Twitter occasionally, so please view our Tweets.

Lard Lord Andrew Landeryou’s enormous gut is under attack. Literally.

by Liberty Larry and Vexnews Insider

The hard-living attention-seeking booze-hound is unfortunately NOT GOING under the knife, for lap-band surgery that leave him with the appetite of Paris Hilton.

The serial bankrupt lives in a luxurious fat cave in inner Melbourne.

Landeryou became notorious in political circles during his efforts in the Kororoit by-election through VEXNEWS’s predecessor The Other Cheek.

So upset was Landeryou at his humiliating "loss" in the campaign, though he wasn’t running, that he marched to the nearest KFC restaurant and proceeded to eat its entire stock in one sitting.

After a cushy year for Landeryou, he is already in mourning over the loss of some of his favourite snacks which include KFC chicken nuggets, and the Zinger burger. Presumably this also means no more alcoholic binges at Melbourne’s up-market bars and restaurants and at the nearest KFC’s drive-through where he is frequently seen.

Political insiders say Landeryou is fattening up in preparation for his latest bizarre stunt.

Landeryou told the Herald Sun that he weighs an impressive 1400 kilograms and that he is aiming to fatten up to 8900 kilos.

If only his ego would submit itself for a lap-band procedure.

Laxatives and vomiting after meals

By Vexnews Insider

Andrew Landeryou is reportedly abusing laxatives and vomiting after meals.

The Blog of Sleaze bankrupt is battling an eating disorder, one of his personalities has allegedly revealed. A source said:

"Andy's diet consists mostly of KFC and turkey jerky washed down with Red Bull.

"He throws up after meals, both at home and at restaurants and he isn't very discreet about it."

It has also been claimed that he is taking diet pills.

A Vexnews insider revealed: "The pills are like diuretics. He has to go to the bathroom constantly. It just runs right through him. And everyone knows he still throws up when he's eaten too much. You can smell it in the bathroom."

It was previously reported he is suffering from bulimorexia, an eating disorder which sees him both starving himself and then bingeing and making himself sick.

"This cycle of consuming fatty foods then starving himself must be playing havoc with his health. Andy looks fat in all his promotional pictures, but in reality he is a mess. His skin is dull and blotchy and his hair is lank."