Landeryou the comedic horror story (UPDATED)

UPDATE
It looks like Mr Creosote is just ahead. Though he may have to lose some weight to play the part.


ORIGINAL
The Beaconsfield mine tragedy and rescue is soon to be made into a film.

Which got us thinking: if a film were made of Andrew Landeryou's life, who would play Fat Andy?

All suggestions gratefully received.

Laxatives and vomiting after meals

By Vexnews Insider

Andrew Landeryou is reportedly abusing laxatives and vomiting after meals.

The Blog of Sleaze bankrupt is battling an eating disorder, one of his personalities has allegedly revealed. A source said:

"Andy's diet consists mostly of KFC and turkey jerky washed down with Red Bull.

"He throws up after meals, both at home and at restaurants and he isn't very discreet about it."

It has also been claimed that he is taking diet pills.

A Vexnews insider revealed: "The pills are like diuretics. He has to go to the bathroom constantly. It just runs right through him. And everyone knows he still throws up when he's eaten too much. You can smell it in the bathroom."

It was previously reported he is suffering from bulimorexia, an eating disorder which sees him both starving himself and then bingeing and making himself sick.

"This cycle of consuming fatty foods then starving himself must be playing havoc with his health. Andy looks fat in all his promotional pictures, but in reality he is a mess. His skin is dull and blotchy and his hair is lank."

Getting bigger and bigger and bigger

This was Andrew Landeryou in May 2005.


This was Andrew Landeryou at the end of July, 2008.


Notice anything different?

Mr Creosote anyone?

If interested, this was Andy in his Fat Cave.

See you all next week Patriots.

A room with no view in the Fat Cave

“There are times when two pictures tells a thousand words.”

It appears that Andrew Landeryou has been up to his usual tricks. Select this external link for details.

Meanwhile, times are a little tough at the moment for Melbourne’s own Mr Creosote, what with his chronic unappeasable hunger for “fatter-than-fat” fried chicken.

So we thought it was time to humanise Andrew Landeryou, and take you on a tour of his personal life.

Last year (April 2007) we reported that Landeryou took delivery of a new car. He has since grown into it! With the import tariff loaded onto the price, it may explain Andy’s recent rant against the automotive industry review.

Patriots might also take note of Landeryou ‘hard at work’ on his Blog of Sleaze, in his Fat Cave. The picture is a study exploring all that makes Landeryou who he is. You might want to consider amongst yourselves all the various paraphernalia that he has surrounded himself with, such as the obligatory KFC family bucket. The portrait truly tells a thousand words.

Plus take a look at an early “Spot the Similarity” game.

The night of the ‘greasy fingers’ when Landeryou ate $1000 worth of food

It is well known that Andrew Landeryou’s favourite (and increasingly only) pastime is eating.

He especially has an unrequited chicken fetish, especially the KFC kind.

Not very long ago, while seated at Table 1 (nearest the kitchen) Landeryou masticated through $1000 worth of food in one evening sitting.

At the end of the night he could not even fit in a wafer thin mint.

The Mayne Report carries the exclusive of the night referred to in political circles as “the night of the greasy fingers” in reference to Landeryou’s mastication skills.

No one is quite sure why Landeryou attended the evening wearing a crop top. One suggestion is that he went as alternate personality Cat Cait, with the hope that no one would recognise him.

Plus tune in Monday for updated photographs of Landeryou doing whatever Landeryou does.