Thursday, March 20, 2008

Happy Easter

Happy Easter fellow patriots.

It seems it was Christmas only yesterday. And Easter last year, TS was in Costa Rica.

As you tuck into your fish on Good Friday, or your toasty hot cross bun, think of Andrew Landeryou. All alone in his Fat Cave, tucking into his Easter KFC.

It’s not all bad for Andy. He actually looks forward to Good Friday. As most Christians munch away on fish, Landeryou considers that it offers an opportunity to masticate away on excess KFC.

At this “giving up things for Lent” time, perhaps it’s time to consider the legal proposal to make it illegal for restaurants to serve fat customers. As Landeryou is KFC’s biggest customer – in every sense – we expect they would lobby extensively against the law.

26 Truth On Comments:

Cait Catt said...

Happy Easter to catter8 and all the cats at Victoria's premier cattery.

How mean of that writer who posted last on the previous vile story on this blog to suggest that catter8 is a lesbian. I'm sure she'll spend Easter studying up all her law books to best see how she might take a legal remedy, but then again she might not take a legal remedy and pursue other avenues.

I don't normally wish the vile author of the blog of filth any greetings, but as he's wishes me a happy Easter I shall do so likewise, but I'll be back after Easter fighting him with all my energy I get from feeding my cats.

catter8 said...

Happy Easter Cait

Rita Randles said...

Is Slanderyou becoming more reasonable in his old age, wishing us a Happy Easter?

Happy Easter Slanderyou, but don't forget after Easter we'll be back leading the team for the defence.

Cait Catt said...

Happy Easter too to the great man, the author of the best blog on the net.

Anonymous said...

Rita Landeryou writes "Slanderyou becoming more reasonable". It is suggestive that Slanderyou was reasonable in the first place if he is to be 'more' reasonable'.

Anonymous said...

Trouble sleeping again, Andy-Cait-Catter8-the late Rita-Delia?

Anonymous said...

happy easter to you 2 Slanders. I notice that Lnderyou has yet to offer the same seasons greetings. Does Landeryou now hate Christians too?

fat andy's going down said...

Of course Fat Andy hates Christians. This is what Christ had to say:

• Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

• Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land.

• Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.

• Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.

• Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

• Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.

• Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

• Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Let's go through these verse by verse.

Fat Boy isn't poor in spirit or meek. Despite a life of failure, he has a rampaging ego - and several rampaging alter egos.

Mourning over lost ill-gotten gains doesn't count as proper mourning.

Fat Boy ran off overseas to escape justice. He's still doing everything he can do avoid it - but he'll get his fill. Solly Lew will see to that.

Fat Boy merciful? Ha! Ditto clean of heart.

Christ talked about "peacemakers", not "people who make up malicious lies to cause hurt and conflict".

Fat Boy claims he is persecuted, but that is actually the due process of the law.

Andrew Landeryou isn't just going to prison. He is also going to hell.

Anonymous said...

Happy Easter or Happy Eater?

Kevin of Southbank said...

happy Eater? I thought Landeryou was a fat, sad lonely eater. Or have I got that wrong?

Reverend Barrister Willy Bayo said...

No, you are not wrong Kevin!

Happy Easter to all Slanderyou readers
Safe Hols

Anna F said...

The ABS has just released the latest installment of data on Corrective Services. Here is the link.

Andy has some reading to do over Easter.

Anonymous said...

Happy Easter everyone.

No offence meant to Slanderyou but the proposal to ban fat customers from restaurants is insulting to many fat people and may be contrary to the Equal Opportunity laws. While intended as a joke and a reference to the man this blog is constantly criticising, who is said to be overweight from eating too much KFC, there are many fat people who have the condition genetically. In their case it is not self inflicted and they do not deserve to be unfairly discriminated against.

I remember a similar comment made in jest on the previous Slandersyou blog about prostate examinations. This is not a joke as it was meant to be. Wayne Swan, our Treasurer, once had prostate cancer and would have died from it if he had not had a prostate examination. It is not a laughing matter as possibly the same number of men have prostate cancer as women have breast cancer. Equally immature behaviour occurred a friend of the author took a bottle of urine to the pathology centre for examination and a man in his late twenties who should have known better laughed and made some sort of a joke of it. Such immature behaviour should not have to be tolerated.

Anonymous said...

Below is the Easter message of the Great Man. Read on:

Friday, 21 March 2008

The OC spends insufficient time writing and running and too much time on the phone and too much time reading. In the latter capacity, we stumbled on a discussion of some the content of the Good Friday Latin Mass that operated in the Church prior to 1955:

Let us pray also for the perfidious Jews: that Almighty God may remove the veil from their hearts [2 Corinthians 3:13-16]; so that they too may acknowledge Jesus Christ our Lord. ('Amen' is not responded, nor is said 'Let us pray', or 'Let us kneel', or 'Arise', but immediately is said:) Almighty and eternal God, who dost not exclude from thy mercy even Jewish faithlessness: hear our prayers, which we offer for the blindness of that people; that acknowledging the light of thy Truth, which is Christ, they may be delivered from their darkness. Through the same Lord Jesus Christ, who lives and reigns with thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, for ever and ever. Amen

How embarrassment.

Fortunately, this rather odious set of slurs was removed decades ago and was eventually replaced with these wholly more respectful yet still perhaps recruitment focused words:

The prayer used in the New Mass according to the Pope Paul VI missal reads: "Let us pray for the Jewish people, the first to hear the word of God, that they may continue to grow in the love of his name and in faithfulness to his covenant. Almighty and eternal God, long ago you gave your promise to Abraham and his posterity. Listen to your church as we pray that the people you first made your own may arrive at the fullness of redemption."

And it wasn't just the Catholics at the old-time trash-talking prayer either, the UK Anglicans were not always the pinko, Marx loving, Sharia-law advocating trendoids of today. From their Book of Common Prayer:

O merciful God, who hast made all men, and hatest nothing that thou hast made, nor wouldest the death of any sinner, but rather that he be converted and live; Have mercy upon all Jews, Turks, Infidels, and Heretics, and take from them all ignorance, hardness of heart, and contempt of thy Word; and so fetch them home, blessed Lord, to thy flock, that they may be saved among the remnant of the true Israelites, and be made one fold under one shepherd, Jesus Christ our Lord, who liveth and reigneth with thee and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen.

"Have mercy upon all Jews, Turks, Infidels and Heretics, and take from them all ignorance, hardness of heart" sounds like a motion at a Victorian Socialist Left executive meeting as they ponder their defeat at the hands of the glorious and patriotic Melbourne Ports and Calwell and Gorton and Scullin and Holt state conference delegations.

For all those who worship that way, have a Happy and Holy Easter. We'll be doing our normal occasional weekend transmission over the days ahead.

Game on.

Anonymous said...

Who else but the OC would tell us that Kim Carr, Senator for Victoria, should become an international celebrity, getting his name in the London Independent.
Read on:

Strewth! Aussies reel at TV swearing Web
By Kathy Marks
Friday, 21 March 2008
In a country where "bastard" is a term of endearment, one might expect people to be inured to strong language. But Australians, apparently, are so shocked by the amount of swearing on television that a parliamentary inquiry is to examine the issue.

Among those who have made people blanch of late is Gordon Ramsay, the notoriously foul-mouthed chef. Mr Ramsay let slip the "C-word", as one commentator delicately called it yesterday, during one of his programmes recently broadcast in Australia. That, it seems, was the last straw for Cory Bernardi, the conservative opposition's parliamentary secretary for family and community services, who said: "I've enjoyed Gordon Ramsay's show myself for a couple of weeks but I was prompted to investigate the regulations surrounding the use of swearing on television by a number of complaints that I received. We are now seeing this sort of language creep into our everyday viewing habits, and I think we have to establish what is an appropriate level."

He added: I have a broad acceptance of the Australian vernacular and the colourful use of language that permeates many aspects of life, but like many Australians, I do not agree with the gratuitous use of obscene language."

A senate committee will investigate the frequency and nature of profanities used on television. It will examine programme classifications, and whether they reflect the content, as well as the effectiveness of the public complaints system.

But even as the inquiry was announced, the notion of politicians setting standards was undermined by a minister in parliament. The alleged offender was Kim Carr, the Innovation Minister, who was overheard muttering "I've got no bloody idea" as he stood up to answer a question.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Senator Kim Carr on making the international news.

He didn't use the f word or the c word yet the Poms thought he was swearing. In the 1950s perhaps, but not now.

The Poms are pretty old fashioned if they think a word like bloody is swearing. Even the Duke of Edinburgh uses it. I bet even Slanderyou uses it too.

Anonymous said...

Heard a story about Cait Catt yesterday. Apparently she was told she wasn't wanted at the Unitarian Church at their Easter service. She was told she was a reincarnation of the madwoman Diane Anderson, the famous lady from Higgins. Diane was once expelled from that church for heresy and I read all about it on the OC.

Andrew Landeryou writes a lot about Diane on his blog. Someone leaks it to him.

Cait was also told she should stop advising Ted Baillieu on the anti-Baillieu blog as she's been suggesting Ted should seek publicity in Higgins News.

Cait is wrong there. Higgins News hasn't appeared this year. Diane has lost her enthusiasm. That's if it is Cait who is trying to tell Ted what to do. Those who write comments on the anti-Red Ted Baillieu blog have much more imagination than our beloved Cait, who keeps regurgitating the same crap all the time about what a good bloke her mentor is. I suspect it isn't Cait writing on the anti-Red Ted blog but you never know.

Anonymous said...

All I can say about that is

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Anonymous said...

Slanderyou is purrrfect!

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