Team Slanderyou has obtained an exclusive picture of the resident of the Vexnews fat cave.
The resident wanted to remain anonymous. Our photo journalist was requested to photograph him/her/it wearing funny glasses and moustache so as to obscure their identity. Right click into a new window/tab to view the picture in full.
Patriots may wish to guess the identity of the resident.
The photograph reveals a horrifying medical experiment in progress. The fat cave resident is trying valiantly, it must be said, to become the fastest person on the planet.
Team Slanderyou is taking a sabbatical through November, and will return in early December. TS may Twitter occasionally, so please view our Tweets.